dumb & dumber thread

[wastrel]

Ok, me first, & this is just off the top of my head mind, I could concentrate & post, but, I`d probably be banned from any future meets & within a mile of members children!
speaking to the boss on the phone one time just as I was about to leave to go to work (night shift away from home) , I realised I couldn`t see my moby, as I searched the hotel room frantically I said "Christ babe, I`ll need to call you back, I`m gonna be late if I canny find that phone"!
she said, Sie, what`re you holding in your left hand right now?

[eboswan]

I once drove 30 miles too work knowing there was something on my mind but couldnt figure it out for the life of me
It was only when i pulled up at work stepping out of the van thinking that doesn't feel right,i looked down and realised i still had my slippers on my boots were still at home

[eboswan]

Oh hang on i have another one
I drove all the way too one of my shooting permissions
Got dressed,loaded the magazine fitted the lamp now wheres the battery....... still on charge at home

[Roger5]

Was going out shooting with a guy, but when he got his rifle out it was a daystate and he'd left it's ignition key at home, I didn't laugh, much. Rog

[Raj]

I once drove 30 miles too work knowing there was something on my mind but couldnt figure it out for the life of me
It was only when i pulled up at work stepping out of the van thinking that doesn't feel right,i looked down and realised i still had my slippers on my boots were still at home

One summer, I got as far as Apeldoorn, Netherlands for a meeting ...... in my sandals and a suit

And when I had my trusty Nokia 6310 (instead of these new fangled smart phones with no key pad) during a bad day at work, I found myself keying in a telephone number into my calculator

[Outandabout]

More than once i have gone to work with 2 odd socks on. Not too bad you think until you are in the changing room at work in front of 20 colleagues. The obvious answer to the comments is I have another pair like these at home.
Kevin

[Kwaka]

I once got all the way to my shooting club, intending to shoot my CZ455 rimfire, to realise i had left the bolt in the cabinet at home!

I also once got to the clay ground and realised that I hadn't brought the shot gun slip with me.

[Blackbaronfish]

I turned up at the first meet
BBF

[wastrel]

not me this time, but I was reminded tonight of some other Dumb@$$ I came across, working on a job a couple of years ago, there was a Polish guy who mentioned one Friday, he was trying to book a flight home, a Scottish guy mentioned he`d always wanted to see Auschwitz, Polish guy said it wasn`t too far from where he lived, this Scottish bloke, to my complete amazement said "I`ll drive you & your girlfriend there if you`ll show me how to get to Auschwitz, Polish guy agreed & I kid you not guys, the bloke took off his nailbag there & then & said "Sie, I`ll be back Tuesday" & duly boogered off!!
anyhoo, comes Monday & the agency phone me asking me where this guy is, I replied "he`s gone to Auschwitz, be back tomorrow"! this young guy sez, "Auschwitz, is that a football team"? I really couldn't find any words for that!

[wastrel]

I`m resurging this after my daughter told me a doozy tonight!
Her friend couldn`t understand why her & her boyfriend (new starts with first flat!) had to repeatedly wash/rinse their dishes in their dishwasher until the stuff actually looked clean, being one of those homes that constantly has a full `washer, simply taking out a clean`un & replacing with a dirty item instead of filling-cleaning-emptying like most of us (seen it done myself-not my idea, but hey, different strokes etc!)) she pulled out the (full) lower tray at the weekend to reveal 20 0r so tabs, sat in their watertight bags in the bottom of the machine! her partner looking shocked said "I thought the bags dissolved too!" she replied "aye, maybe when your mum shops in Waitrose they do, but NOT the ones from Aldi you lazy sh!t" young `uns, I tell ye!