The things women say!

[Timmytree]

My other half, Jo, is normally pretty switched on but has a habit of coming out with something without thinking.This weekend was a classic. Waiting at a busy T junction with a restricted view I asked a simple question. "What's it like your side?"

"LEFT"

[Brooksy]

That's nothing, I should write a book.
We were driving the other day, and we passed the new Jaguar dealership in Crewe. Next door, they're building a petrol station. She says "when they started building, how did they know there was petrol on the site"?
Then, yesterday, she asks me, "why do birds need feathers when they have skin as well"?
Today, it was "do bees have udders, now don't laugh, I saw it on telly that all honey is pasteurized."

[Blackbaronfish]

You couldn't make it up .
My daughter the other day asked me "how high is eight foot"

BBF

[poguemahone]

my dear departed old battleaxe of a mother in law edna once said to me, '' if you ever said anything nice about me, i think i'd drop down dead ''
i said '' its no use trying to bribe me ''

[Brooksy]

my dear departed old battleaxe of a mother in law edna once said to me, '' if you ever said anything nice about me, i think i'd drop down dead ''
i said '' its no use trying to bribe me ''

Why didn't you tell her that she was dead sexy instead of "Thate bosted."

[Raj]

my dear departed old battleaxe of a mother in law edna once said to me, '' if you ever said anything nice about me, i think i'd drop down dead ''
i said '' its no use trying to bribe me ''

Why didn't you tell her that she was dead sexy instead of "Thate bosted."

Oi ..... cut it out, you two. I have feelings, you know?

[poguemahone]

my dear departed old battleaxe of a mother in law edna once said to me, '' if you ever said anything nice about me, i think i'd drop down dead ''
i said '' its no use trying to bribe me ''

Why didn't you tell her that she was dead sexy instead of "Thate bosted."

theres only 2 people ever told edna she was sexy, and thats Raj and timmytree.
the sound of edna gasping for breath on her hospital bed still haunts me, do you think i should change my ringtone ??

[Brooksy]

Maybe stick it through a karaoke program?

[gary martin]

my wife bless her. like many of the fair sex, is on a diet. now put into perspective the clothing situation, and like many of the said sex, have far too many clothes. three double wardrobes, chests of drawers, and I hasten to add, very large chests of drawers, is too much. being the kind soul that I am, offered advice on the situation. YOU HAVE TOO MANY CLOTHES ! GET RID OF SOME OF THEM! I thought it was wise advice. the look of distain on her face, but then she had that other look, the one with renewed vigour. she then comes out with the get out of this one hubby statement. "well, if I lose a couple of dress sizes, are you going to buy me a new wardrobe? " (wry smile on her face). my answer, of course dear! (look on her face of surprise) if you lose that much, I would have to buy you a new wardrobe as none of your clothes would fit!

[eboswan]

my wife bless her. like many of the fair sex, is on a diet. now put into perspective the clothing situation, and like many of the said sex, have far too many clothes. three double wardrobes, chests of drawers, and I hasten to add, very large chests of drawers, is too much. being the kind soul that I am, offered advice on the situation. YOU HAVE TOO MANY CLOTHES ! GET RID OF SOME OF THEM! I thought it was wise advice. the look of distain on her face, but then she had that other look, the one with renewed vigour. she then comes out with the get out of this one hubby statement. "well, if I lose a couple of dress sizes, are you going to buy me a new wardrobe? " (wry smile on her face). my answer, of course dear! (look on her face of surprise) if you lose that much, I would have to buy you a new wardrobe as none of your clothes would fit!