a Scotsman, an Englishman & some erm, apples!

[wastrel]

A Scotsman lived next door to an Englishman & as luck would have it, the border twixt both countries ran along their garden boundaries too, this lead to the inevitable flags displayed proudly on poles in each garden, the (cricket loving) Englishman suddenly listening at ear splitting levels to every Scottish international football match, the (footy loving Scotsman) acquiring a bad Australian accent during every Ashes series etc etc!
one day the Angus asked Trevor to return some apples from his tree that had fallen over the fence (ergo border) Trevor replied
`negatory old bean, in England, if it`s on or in our property it belongs to us!
`well that`s not how we do things up here` said Angus, `up here we take turns to kick each other in the nuts until we have a clear-
`hear mate have them back` or a `tell you what mate, you keep them`!
`sounds fine` said Trevor `righto, me first then` barked Angus & volleyed Trev so hard it lifted him off his toes!
poor Trevors knees buckled & his breaths came in short ragged gasps, eyes watering, fists clenching he struggled upright & said through gritted teeth,
`right then, my turn`
Angus said `nah mate, you keep `em!

[gary martin]

nicely told.

[oedbachgen]

Not bad for a Scotsman and a Englishman joke

[Raj]

Hahahahaha .... That is a bit like Nicola Sturgeon kicking David Cameron in the nuts and then David realising he cant kick her back because she hasn't got any

[Brooksy]

Hahahahaha .... That is a bit like Nicola Sturgeon kicking David Cameron in the nuts and then David realising he cant kick her back because she hasn't got any

She hasn't? Now that's a surprise to me!

[neil]

Hahahahaha .... That is a bit like Nicola Sturgeon kicking David Cameron in the nuts and then David realising he cant kick her back because she hasn't got any

probably more to do with him not having any himself he doesn't know where to aim